When I Grow Up...

"When I grow up, I want to be..."

Surely, this is a comment that most of us have heard of or know of, or have even stated outloud ourselves. Well, I am here to tell you that I am still saying it.

I have always changed my mind on what I wanted to do in life, a statement I heard enough times from my mother, but the thing is, I think I don't know what I want to do - ever. Period. Of all my occupations so far in life, I have never aspired to be any of them. Not a student, a bum, a volunteer, a check-out-chick-turned-supermarket-all-rounder, an assistant secretary type thing, a missionary [not another form of being a bum], a bum, and an aged care worker [currently]. And, scarily, most of those occupations lasted less than 2 years [quite a thankful point when I think about those times when I was being a bum].

I am also my own worst enemy. I hate being with out work [and am not currently unemployed if you are thinking you've missed out on some big news - from the part-time blogger that is me, that is], yet when I've been out of work I find inspiration to get my butt into gear scarce for big, long, vast periods of time. On the flip side, when I have a job, like I currently do, I long for the days of carefree nothingness and have plans upon plans of things I could be doing - if only I didn't have a job.

On the flipped-flip-side, there is the loathsome monetary issues. I hate being broke, and hate is a strong, passionate, "barely recoverable" emotion which very much equals to my emotion towards being broke. I superglue-strongly dislike borrowing from others - except my Dad, but that's another story - and I even more super-dooper-glue strongly dislike getting the pitiful government hand out that barely covers my life expenses - including the student fees that often come hand-in-hand with the government hand out times of my life.

Dilemma. Aspire to be a bum and do absolutely everything you want as long as it doesn't require a cost of any sort and be happy to live in squaller because you cannot pay bills, because we know that is the ultimate expectation of a person who does not work [well... usually]. Or, aspire to be someone, somewhere doing something that allows you to do absolutely everything you want as long as you are not taking up work hours or other commitments and live life not having too many worries about, well, pretty much anything.

PS - When I grow up, I want to be happy, doing whatever it is God wants me to do.
Even if it means being a bum for a while.