Are you sure its not frostbite...?

Well hey there avid readers [all... three of you?]!

I have been having many varieties of struggles recently - mostly due to the fact that the honeymoon period of being home has far from finished and now I'm running through phases of
"I'm lonely and I wish I had someone to talk to... [add person]... okay, now I have nothing to say and wish I was alone"
Ha. Bad. Or perhaps this one...
"I'm so very very very happy!!!!.. [insert a moment]... okay now I'm so sad/angry/want to kick a shed in/lost/unsure/etc"
I couldn't even say there were reasons the mood changed. The mood just changed. Oh, there are many other moments, let me tell you, but if I sit here and describe them all, well, it just might depress you instead! So - think of this as me giving you that release of NOT having to read it! Okay? Okay!

One particular thing I want to talk about is this:
Re-adjusting to cooler weather after living in the Tropics for [insert period of time here]...

I lived on a ship that sailed around the tropics for about 15 months. Prior to that, I had about 3 months of Summer back here in Adelaide, Australia. So - in all, about 18-ish months of good decent, "more sweat coming from your armpits than shirts that are dry" style weather.

Sure, in the tropics, it rains too. Alot. But its not the rain that when it starts you head to cover because getting wet means getting cold. No way. Far from it, infact. These rains were like having a luke-warm shower without having a choice and with all your clothes on. At first, its awkward. You don't know what to do. You are soaked through enough that you are sure even if your pants dry you will still look like you've peed yourself. Your shoes fill with enough rain that you squelch when you walk. If you opt for thongs, then your feet turn into a mudbath. When you walk out of the wet into the dry parts of malls or shops, you start dancing like a crazy ice skater because the shoes are so slippery on the ground and you have no traction. Your book that you brought for the bus ride is curling on the corners from the wet paper. You just cannot win. The locals, however, they are so used to the weather than being so wet is like another version of their outfits. Its really quite funny!

So my dilemma is that I feel exceptionally cold. So cold that I wonder if my bones will shake apart because I feel that cold. I put more layers on, another pair of socks, beanies, scarfes and a jacket and when I can hardly move I realise I have to pee. Its annoying!!!!! But its really cold! This evening is only 12*C. I don't live in a place that snows but I feel like if I look outside it should be snowing I feel so cold.

Have I become desensitised to cold weather while I was away in the tropics? Winter is my favourite season because of the layers of clothes. Perhaps my complaining really is in the fact that I just need to get more winter clothes. I'm so glad I can use this space to write things which in the end - I can resolve in my own way anyway. Ha...

The other particular thing I would like to talk about is this:
Hair today, gone tomorrow: Why having a good hairstyle is so important to us...

We all have hair, but why do we want to have 'perfect' hair. "Find the style that suits you", the magazines scream out to me. "Want a new YOU? Change your hair!"

I have been researching for a new hairstyle. My thoughts: mid-length, layered/graded, incorporates my fringe... face framing. I have rather curly hair, rather medium thickness and at the moment it feels rather long. Its to the middle of my back if I straighten it. Its only just past my shoulders if its left curly. But it feels like it has no life. I want something... new.

So - where does a person go to find something new? I look online first, Googling in the images for "short curly hairstyles 2010". I find straight hair, long hair, ultra short hair, and every other 'care-hair' comes out before some medium length hairstyles. Most of them, apart from a bare few, are infact, medium length curly hairstyles - but on women who have dead straight hair and their hairstylist for the day and curled and hairsprayed and "schooschzed" their hair until they get their medium length curly - perfect - hair. Its so not real.

The 'real' ones turned up being hippy-retro-emo-special hairstyles that only the darest of dare-devils would wear. But I'm talking about going to your neighbourhood hairdresser and getting my hair cut. I'm talking about an everyday style that doesn't require 3 hours prior to showing my face in public spent scrutinising over each strand till its 'perfect' I'm talking "wake up, shower, schooschzing for about 7.75minutes and then walking out of the bathroom. I'm talking 'normal people' styles. Where can we find our hairstyle-bible!?

Perhaps its in the magazine. So I buy one of those $4.99 magazines on hairstyles. I flick 3/4's of the way through before I see anything remotely resembling what I want. But - once again I'm showered in many styles - from the hairdressing salons of make-believe.

So - I'm going to take my thoughts and ask the hairdresser tomorrow, when I go in for my BIG CUT. Its the Girly day, when two of my closest friends and I go to have our hair done together and then we paint the town red with our fabulous new do's. It will be awesome. Whatever style comes through, it will be awesome...

So - from here I bid you... adieu...

Remembering the ANZAC's

Every year on April 25 two things happen all over Australia and New Zealand. As the light of day arrives, a Dawn Service is held at War Memorials to remember the moment of "stand-to" - when the soldiers were awoken from whatever slumber they could get into and make their stances ready, alert and to mann their weapons. It's in these quiet, peaceful moments of silence that veterans [soldiers who returned from the battlefield] and the family of those who were lost remember them...

Originally, only veterans were allowed to attend the dawn service, to commemorate the timing with the original landing on the shores of the Gallipoli peninsula, while family members attended the daytime ceremony to remember their fallen loved ones. The days have changed, and now we are all encouraged to partake in either or both services.

Why is this day special to Australian's? From the Australian War Memorial website, is the following...
When war broke out in 1914, Australia had been a federal commonwealth for only 13 years. The new national government was eager to establish its reputation among the nations of the world. In 1915 Australian and New Zealand soldiers formed part of the allied expedition that set out to capture the Gallipoli peninsula in order to open the Dardanelles to the allied navies. The ultimate objective was to capture Constantinople (now Istanbul in Turkey), the capital of the Ottoman Empire, an ally of Germany.

The Australian and New Zealand forces landed on Gallipoli on 25 April, meeting fierce resistance from the Ottoman Turkish defenders. What had been planned as a bold stroke to knock Turkey out of the war quickly became a stalemate, and the campaign dragged on for eight months. At the end of 1915 the allied forces were evacuated, after both sides had suffered heavy casualties and endured great hardships. Over 8,000 Australian soldiers had been killed. News of the landing on Gallipoli had made a profound impact on Australians at home, and 25 April soon became the day on which Australians remembered the sacrifice of those who had died in the war.

Although the Gallipoli campaign failed in its military objectives, the Australian and New Zealand actions during the campaign left us all a powerful legacy. The creation of what became known as the “ANZAC legend” became an important part of the identity of both nations, shaping the ways they viewed both their past and their future.
  • Australian War Memorial

  • For my family, we didn't lose anyone to either of the World Wars. My grandpa on my mothers side was in the Army but never saw a battle or went to the field. Both of my grandparents on my fathers side were in the Second world war. My Nanna as a field nurse and my grandpa as a pilot. Of their 4 sons that they had, only one ever saw a war - the eldest, Peter - when he served in the Vietnam war. He is a veteran now, and still struggles with the things he saw. Peter's brother, Neil, was in the Army for about 20 years, but never saw a battle. My father, Clive, and my other uncle, Kym, as far as I know, never joined the military. My brother, Troy, was a cadet for a long time but left early when he decided to attend University.

    I don't just love ANZAC day because it means something to my family. I love ANZAC day because it was like a right of passage for the Australian and New Zealand countries. We made our mark in the world for being withstanding, for the comraderie [bond] that the troops had to each other - to battle on, for the good of our country, knowing that to lose their life was in effort to help generations. Mates were lost. Family were lost. Foreigners lost their mates and family, too. We showed them that we can survive. Its also a day when we can reflect on the different meanings of war.

    So what will you be doing on ANZAC day, April 25th?

    Will you think of those who died... who didn't deserve to die?

    Will it make you think of Jesus - who also loves you - who also didn't deserve to die?

    Will you remember? Lest we forget...

    Happy [is that the right word?]... Blessed ANZAC Day.


    Speaking with my Dad last night brought up the discussion of my upcoming birthday. I don't even start thinking about it till the end of May, because it's not till mid June. But, Dad being Dad, he started thinking about it last birthday [or so it seems].

    Milestone year. 25. I don't even think that is old. Its not. Its so young! Really, these are the years people tell you the statement 'The world is your oyster! Go out and get it!'. Well, I've seen some of the world. I've seen some of that oyster many strive till that perfect time in their life when they can go out and see it. I've done that. I plan to do more of that too!

    But somehow 25 also comes with a question, from my perspective. "When!?". When will I meet my handsome Prince Charming who obviously has refused to stop and ask for directions - because men don't do that, as we're all aware. When will I get to marry my best friend and call him my Husband? When will I get to be pregnant and then to be the Mum taking her baby to play group. The world makes me ask "When!?". The perspective of the world makes me wonder why I'm still waiting. But I'm only 25! Why is this seeming to be a problem! If I was 35... 45... maybe then I should worry. But, worldly speaking, 25 makes me question things about life.

    If I look back and think that me at the age of 21, I know I was far too immature to get married. I was far too immature to even have a boyfriend. I had alot of growing up to do, and it was only 4 years ago. I feel like in those 4 years, that I have realised how a husband isn't necessary in life. He's a blessing. He's like a bonus feature following the Film of life. You don't need to be married to live or to enjoy life or to do what God wants you to do. But, we are born relational. We are born with the desire to be loved. And we desire to love others. So, I guess this is where we need to know we can stop worrying.

    My previous year has been somewhat of a roller coaster. A life that I never thought I would be blessed enough to live. I lived on a ship, that sailed around the world, bringing awesome people from all over the globe who are volunteering their time just to experience other cultures, other people, other lifestyles, while at the same time sharing hope to the nations. We were like a floating United Nations 'island'. We represented the world, and though we had some problems sometimes, we lived together well. Its just so sad to know that politics helps to make our world a messed up place. People with control issues help make the world a messed up place. People who refuse to love their neighbour make the world a messed up place. That, is messed up.

    So - 15ish months of my life was spent around Asia... before I was 25. Not many people get to experience that.

    Well... this has been an interesting reflection. Hope you find it... interesting, too! :)

    I say to you, "Climb that MOUNTAIN!

    In whatever way that I fail in my consistency of writing, I sometimes wonder if I try to make up for in in length and depth. I wonder... are the conversations that I speak in my head before I write with my fingers clearer to me and make sense to no one else. Am I really more like my mother than I would like to admit? Do I talk so much that other people feel exhausted? I know that I have known many people who have made me feel that way, and sadly, I really hope I am not one of those people for others.

    Rebellion. Its a word that emits a version of strength from it. Its a word that makes people in their comfort zones feel nauteous because in order to break out of their zone of comfort, they would need to be rebellious. Its a word that feels like it has power behind it. Its... a word. I feel like I'm in a rebellion. I feel like all I want to do is rebel against the old me. I don't want to be the old me. I want to be me now... me 2010... me today. I want to be the changed person I became when I experienced the great many things of the world that I saw and was challenged by while I was abroad for the 15-ish months I was away.

    I feel like I have SO much time to be me, that I want to be anything but me at the same time. I felt like nothing when I had come back. I came from this 'house' of 300+ housemates, from noise and bustle and sound and lacking in so much personal time and space... to a house with no noise except for when I create it or cause it, no one else except for the cat, no bustle except for my own messiness, TOO much personal time and TOO much space. I felt so lost and lonely. I feel outside of my area. I feel well out of my comfort zone.

    I feel like God has me in a hallway between 'there' and 'here' and there's no light in this hallway. In a sense, you are 'blind' in this hallway. The only thing you can do is to trust that God will guide you around the obstacles that you cannot see coming - but He can. Its like, a child outside of the family home. The child feels safer holding their Mum or Dad's hand. The child knows that the parents are in control and that they will help them along the way until they get back into the home where they know [most of the time] what is good and what is bad. I feel like I am just walking along holding God's hand. I feel like I'm not meant to know the next steps because He knows. Of course, I should be living this way normally anyway, but absurdly due to no employment and plenty of time on my hands to do - anything, nothing - I am much more aware of the situation now.

    God has a way of getting us through this 'hallway'. Sometimes its the choice to leave an employment or not. Do you leave after you have found a new job, because its easier and you still get paid. Do you leave before you get a new job knowing that its better this way and knowing that you will have no income to be supported by. How do we know when we should stop driving and let God drive instead? How do we know that we aren't already letting God drive? When did we suddenly start 'driving' our lives and - are we on the Godly Freeway of Life or are we driving on the backroads because we think we know what's best?

    Gosh. Too much time to think!

    I have come to believe that the ship stopped sailing for more than just the fact that its an old ship. I believe that we were a 'Missionary Bomb' - exploding into the world, sending people who are from all 'corners' of the earth out into all 'corners' of the earth. I feel like I am back here in Adelaide to be more than an unemployed bum. I feel like I'm meant to climb the mountain - literally. God has me on a 'hiking' addiction and all I want to do is 'conquer' the mountain. Alas - we don't have mountains only steep hills but - the point is the same. If i can conquer the steepest of slopes, and I know I can do it because God has givin me the strength. At the same time, God has me with so much spare time to look after those around me. Whether its a woman with a broken ankle or best friends who are about to have a baby, I seem to be already available to them for such a time as this.

    Well - I hope that for you - this was insightful. I hope that for you, this was an update worth waiting for. I hope that for you, God gives you the strength to conquer whatever mountain God has before you. Infact, I don't hope for it... I know he has given you the right strength for the right path up the right mountain.

    Life isn't meant to be an easy walk. Its meant to be uneven, with lots of twists and turns and many steep slopes to climb. God knows what you can handle. If you are facing a huge mountain, and you believe God has you there for such a time as this, then God will also get you through it. God is carrying you - you just have to believe that.

    Love Is...

    "Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."

    From the movie, Captain Corelli's Mandolin

    Just so you know... I'm now changing the site. If you have this in your 'feed' then I hope that you get this and have an AWESOME rest of your day... :)