the Alphabet starts with the letter A…

Amazing how life takes a turn into a direction you couldn't imagine yourself taking. You picture yourself heading to point X, yet unbeknownst to you, God has you heading to point J. Somewhere along the line, God-willing, you'll find your partner in crime [a partner to share a life sentence with, criminally termed here - haha] who just happens to be heading to point M, with God also directing them towards point J.

I am not trying to tell you I have found my geographically- and directionally-challenged man yet. No. He's still running wild in the wilderness out there, with no map in hand, following no GPS, not realising where I am just yet, just simply enjoying his time running around with no pants on, beating his chest and playing with sticks in the dirt. Despite how appealing that image really is… 

I am also not telling you that its all Mister Man's fault that I am still single and waiting for him to rescue me like a fairytale would. Because I am not a princess stranded up a tower with immensely long hair, nor did I eat a bad apple and am stuck snoring my head off till he decides that kissing a sleeping person isn't creepy at all. I have [many many] things to learn, like truly being content with where I am in life, how to deal with conflict better, loving as un-conditionally as I can… while Mister Man simply has to "evolve" himself [the creation kind of evolving that is] into a man who will realise how super awesome I am - and be okay with that. Because I am okay with that…

Point J. I didn't plan on calling it Point J - the direction that God has me and future hubby, yet its quite OBVIOUS why it would be Point J. What could that be, one could wonder. Juicy. January. Jubiliee. Perhaps the most OBVIOUS answer is Jesus. I'm sorry to burst your "thinking of J-named things" bubble, but I just couldn't wait for you to quit thinking up J-named things of insanity like I am sure you would…

So - that's all I have to say at nearly a bright and sunny 7pm on a Tuesday night, while sitting here being awkwardly stared at by a creepy dude who INSISTED on sitting at the very table I'm at despite ALL the free space and free tables that are in this cafe. Thankyou, creepy man, for creeping me out, tapping on the table like you own it [oh, well, where's you name and booking, huh?] and invading my "personal space" space, while I sit here with headphones on drinking my delicious cappuccino. Yes. Thank you.

PS - my little nephew's 2nd birthday is TODAY. He's two, for those who needed clarification. What the dang-nabbit. I've seen him but a glimpse of that time. Well here's an accidentally-awesome photo I took of him for your viewing pleasure. Look, and adore the little ragamuffin.

PSS - Did i mention how amazing this cappuccino is - despite the creepy man?


Okay, so... I really need an update on my blog. Its so hard to motivate myself when I have work in the afternoon [starts about 4pm and goes to... 11pm] and I have the morning off. I like to fluff around and take my time doing everything because I know I will be pretty busy in the evening during work. And if I work all day [so like 7am - about 4pm] then I am just poopered after having walked around and around for the whole shift!!!

However... work is awesome. And that's right - not studying no more - just working now. The girl I was studying and on placement with... and myself are now un-officially employed where we had placement. Which is SUPER because we already know many of the things there are to know. We get officially employed this coming week. 

Its so nice to work with people who I am familiar with and pretty much everyone [residents included] are great to be with... most of the time. Some other carers and nurses are REALLY rough and rude to some of the more difficult residents, which I struggle with alot [the attitude and care they take... not meaning the difficult residents, who I do have some struggles with aswell... oh whatever]. Many of the carer's dont want to spend the little bit of extra time with the residents to allow them to do some things themselves because we are all so busy and have so many other people to take care of too, and understandably, it makes you late for other things that need to be done. But this takes away their independance, their dignity and their respect, so this is something I have to master in order to keep people being actively apart of their care, while at the same time, not spending forever with one person [when there's usually about 12 in all -per section- also requiring your help].

I think dealing with difficult residents will help me better deal with difficult pre-teen and teenagers [I guess I am inclining to the day I might have my own, hey God!?!]. Because, many of these people act like they are -truly- children. They throw tantrums, get mad when they don't get what they want, smack others who they are angry with, follow you around nagging or complaining or abusing you, slam doors and things and scarily remind me of myself when I misbehaved as a teenager.

But they also love you, like to help you, talk to you, laugh and joke with you and appreciate what you are doing for them.
We've had now 3 people pass away since I started placement. The first one affected me mostly because I saw her decline while working with her that day, and then seeing her moments before she passed, but understanding that she was close to the end, not realising it was SO close. That hit home a little bit, but it was a experience I have to get used to. I haven't as yet 'found' someone who has passed away, and I think that will affect me more.

I have been trying to pray through my day for those who are more sick or more frail, in hospital, or are really just waiting for death to come. One lady, who has barely eaten in weeks, is as frail as thin paper over a simple frame, and is now remaining in bed being too exhausted for her legs to hold her body up. She has outlived all expectations. She is also bringing up many discussions from the other carers who work there that 'if there really is a Bloke upstairs' that He wouldn't let this lady continue to live in her condition. Its hard to not say "Christian" things - plus I'm not really allowed to either-, but I try and show that maybe its not just this lady waiting to die, but maybe its her family too... that perhaps she has yet to pass because she is still 'hanging on' for them. Today, I told her "its okay", something that we are encouraged to say to those who we know are close, not for any reason but sometimes they just need that one tiny bit of permission that they can go. I will be sad when she passes, but I know that it will be a great relief to her and her family.

I am also very stuck if people say "Someone just needs to end it"... not meaning it in a mean way, but I guess in their head its the humane way.
Its funny, I see death and mental health illnesses so differently now. I think I am reacting to my normal friends and those people I will see in everyday life differently... to mood swings or outburst of verbal abuse [not like my friends are prone to doing that - haha] or to the fact that sometimes, people just need someone to listen to them. At the same time, there are a few residents who I am VERY frustrated by, and wonder if they play on their mental health illnesses to get more attention.

One lady asks EVERYONE the same question... and sometimes you have to be quite blunt with her in order for her to understand, which I struggle to do. Eg, she will usually say one of the following statements: 

"Will you help me? I am so lost..." so we take her to her room or point in the direction for her to go;
"This stick [walking stick] says my room is number 18, but I don't know..." so we confirm her room and do the previous actions;
"Do you know who I am?..." why, yes we do;
"Will you shower me now?" and we tell her "soon", or just after *insert something here*

EACH time that a person gives a response, she then goes to the next person and asks them, like she is playing people off of each other until she gets a response she likes. And, I'm all for understanding that she has dementia, but her family doesn't experience this extreme behaviour. Interesting!

However, I truly love my job!! I clean bums, front-bottoms [girls] and some tackle [boys], but I really don't think about it - much like changing babies. Sure, they have bits there, but you do get all weird about it. I have a weekly task of viewing under many boobies, and can I just say that some of these women are well a-breast!!! We have special lifting machines for two ladies who are bed- or chair-ridden. We make breakfast, serve morning tea, lunch [3 courses], afternoon tea, dinner [3 courses] and supper. The nurses and those of admin importance say the residents are getting overweight or gaining weight... I wonder why. Its like a 4.5 star hotel. 

I get to be kissed by many of the women [the double-cheek-kiss that Europeans do... because these residents are from Ukraine, Croatia, Russia, and Poland] in the morning... and in the afternoon get abused in foreign languages [which just makes me laugh really] by the same people. I've been kicked in the face, slapped, punched and bitten by a lady who has no teeth. Strange feeling.

And yet, I know this is exactly where I am meant to be right now. I have been challenged to 'tone down' on my enthusiasm - but not to completely stop being me...

I hope this update has found you in the most fabulous day today...

Nurse Betty... week one.

I seem to start most of my recent posts with an apology of sort. You see, I don't have the same access the the internet that I used to, and when I do get access, I have to make it quick because I am sharing it with other people.
This past week has been even more sporadic with access to the internet. I have officially begun Nursing training. Its been wild, detailed and extremely full on... I am loving it! Two more things I am loving? Being able to call myself a nurse, AND, a coffee shop selling delicious coffee using Five Senses beans straight across from my uni. So great to drink the coffee that we used on the Doulos when we were trained to be Barista's around Australia. And the guys there are great to talk to during our breaks.
I have attention issues, and study always drives me mad because it takes SO long to learn something and then I don't plan my study time wisely and then because it was SO long ago that I learnt anything without putting it into practice, I usually forget it. However, my current study plan is SO busy, SO quick and SO full on, I am still full of information and understanding and my assingments are so much easier to do because its so fresh.
Consider this: my course is 2 months long: one month of theory in the class room followed by one month of practical in a working environment. Its jam-packed full of information. Its so tiring, exhausting and draining. I don't think I've slept this well since I left the ship. That's how exhausted this makes me feel, while at the same time, I am so full of energy and excitement for the next steps... I am pumped! 6 months of 'holidays' could have something to do with this.
So - do you know what I am studying, aside from nursing? Firstly I am going to be a Aged Care Nurse. I will hopefully gain work pretty much straight after my studies have finished, and then I aim to work till about April next year [2011] when I will either stop working completely and pursue Enrolled Nursing studies, or I will do part time work and study. This will be decided according to how much the course is, how much money i can save between now and then and most importantly... if that is the direction God wants me to pursue.
God put this passion on my heart, and God can 'drive' the desire for more studies if that is where He is directing me to. For the time being, I am hoping to specialise in Paediactrics and/or Midwifery after Enrolled Nursing studies. However, I am also willing to be directed in any direction from here. Maybe my job will just be to make the days entertaining for the elderly people. Who knows? God knows.

And the vision, that was planted in my brain... still remains..

Insane-ness in my brain-ness.

I do appologise for my delay in keeping up with my updates on here. I am afraid that I had a rather very busy month just now and I'm really only catching up with things that I have been wanting to do since coming home last week...

Up at a sparrows fart, I flew to Melbourne, Victoria for my de-brief from my time away on the Ship. I didn't get the feeling a regular de-brief would give you when you *finally* get to talk about all the things that have happened since you have been gone, because I had 3 months to talk about these things with friends and other missionaries who have already come back or have experienced these things before. De-brief for me was more about having official closure to my time away and to realise that "my time onboard the Doulos was the biggest wake-up-call of my life".

While in Melbourne, however, I was SO blessed to stay with my fabulous friend, Jessica. She was also onboard with me, and we got to be Secretaries together [just in different departments]. She is, lovingly, NUTS! I think I had more enjoyable time with her talking about how life is now that we are home, what its been like with family, our home churches,  and doing some random days out than I did actually having the official de-brief. Jess and I come from very similar backgrounds, and are experiencing the same issues with being back in 'reality'... it was such a blessing to spend that week with her! The Moose, Bartender Dave, cutting off dreadlocks, finding cute and dirt cheap clothes, Ganaya, "today I die", the painting... so many awesome memories...

I also got to catch up with people who were from my church who have now travelled to live and work in Melbourne. Of the three groups of people, two are expecting a baby any day now. I got to hang out in the Melbourne CBD and eat scrumptious dumplings, then fabulous dessert with Tamra & Dave, which was SO great because it was the first time meeting Dave, and I HIGHLY approve of the man. He's not as chatty as Tamra and I, but he was definately on par with our conversations. I am so glad Tam has met such a wonderful man, and I just know he will take care of her and their new bub!

My other evening consisted of a SPLENDID home cooked meal by a fabulous Alexa who is GINORMOUSLY popping with her baby. James and I got to talk alot of crap and we all shared stories about our times away, it was so great to hear fun stories and see amazing photos of the Netherlands. I think I had one of the best laughing experiences with James and Lex, they have such a brilliant sense of humour, but have so much love, too. I just cannot WAIT till their little bub comes into the world. What a fun place that will be!

The non-having-a-baby friend is Dave. It was a short time to catch up with him, but it was a really nice time. He's studying to become a pilot, so it was exciting to hear his stories and of places he has been with people from one of his new churches he goes to. That... and he's going to be a pilot. I think he currently has his private pilot's licence. What an occupation...!!

From Melbourne, I flew to Newcastle:
Another sparrows fart flight gets me landing in the mining town of Newcastle, New South Wales at about 8am. My fabulous friend, Katrina was there to pick me up and tour me around, and I have to say, having never been to Newcastle, I was VERY impressed. At first, from the airport, the view isn't so much. More trucks and industrial looking. But then a corner takes you to a corner and the next thing you know, you are in rolling hills and jagged surf coast. So beautiful. It was such a great time with Trina, another friend from the Ship, who is someone I value very deeply in personality, character and charm. She is a super dooper trooper, and likes my jokes, so that means she's even awesome-er... even if she did put a less-than-attractive photo of me in her newsletter [pfft!]. Haha. Lake Macquarie has got to be my favourite place by far... it was just so beautiful there... Newcastle will definately have another visit from me...

And then there is Sydney... but you will have to wait till the next post to read about Sydney... and the rest of my current adventures!!!

And... something to encourage you with:

“Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.” - John Wesley

Love Is Patient... Indeed.

Hello Single Ladies [put a ring on it?]...!!

I am having just the nicest few weeks recently, and despite a minor move to a new temporary home this coming Friday which also coincides with a certain Birthday to celebrate 25 years of life and the 26 of a close mate PLUS a baby shower the following day, life is hillariously awesome.

And by hillariously, I mean... I love how God does things in life that just make you laugh your bum off. Really. There are MANY moments where I feel like I've lost a good portion of my tush from laughing so much...

Take housemates/roommates for example. ALL of the girls I have lived with, minus 1 person, have gotten a good bloke either during or just after the time I've lived with them. How random is that!? Do I give off a love vibe? Am I sort of like the glue that brings people together? Or maybe better than glue is one of those straps that you have to gradually tighten by a winch-type thing - and perhaps I am like the winch-type thing!? OR perhaps from living with me they realise that they would much rather be married because what a horrible experience...??? Nah! Not possible!

What ever it is, I feel a bit like Cupid, minus the ouchy arrow landing in your butt. And for some reason this only happens when I live with people. And, for another random reason, it quite possibly doesn't have to be a LONG time to live with someone...

Well. That is grand. I love a good Love story!! Of course, I don't usually get mentioned in the wedding speeches of "how it all began" because it is quite possibly only me who see's the quirky connection. But still... it is kind of sweet to know that for one reason or another, I can be unknowingly involved... without being the third wheel of course :)

Funny, too, is that after a good 2 weeks of being the MOST at peace with the whole singleness idea [have been very peaceful since being back in the country 3 months ago], and having had zero questions about when I was going to start bringing in some grandkids [cough mum & dad cough - but really, they don't pressure me so much] that only now I have started to be asked when my turn will be.

Its all in God's timing, isn't it!? How great it is to know that God has it all under control! Though seriously - Mr Husby can hurry up any time he likes :D. A small quote of a cute thing I said to a friend of mine just now, something I thought I should share because quite frankly, its going to go into the Husband Journal. Yeah, I've decided to write down prayers, thoughts, feelings, verses etc into a book I can give to Mr Husby when we are all serious and looking towards the next step...

"Hey Mr Husby, I missed you today when my friends told me that some romance is happening in their life. If only you would stop and ask for directions on how to get here already. Its not a shameful thing to do. Many men have conquered the art of asking for directions without feeling powerless or any less of a man. Or -- better yet, wait till I've moved again, which is Friday incase you weren't sure. But then a week later I'll be travelling around the countryside for a month or so. So, you will have to get your butt into 4WD, Mister!! Missing you. Love me"

Isn't that cute and hillarious at the same time? Hahah!

He will get here when God knows I deserve him and when God knows I am ready for him. Even if I think I am ready, chances are, I am so not ready at all!!

Totally Wicked...

I love love LOVE it when God quite literally blows your socks off.

I've had just 'one of those' weeks. I was down with Laryngitis - for those playing at home its an infection of the vocal chords - for pretty much the whole week. I'm still not over it but today was the first time I got most of my voice back.

The week consisted of me staying in bed, watching movies and cancelling phone calls when people were ringing because I couldn't speak to answer them. [of course, I sent a message to say I couldn't talk!].  I went out on Thursday... and stayed for the smallest amount of time at the kids-club I work at and then came home. I felt pretty off. Mostly just knackered... but otherwise fine!

Then... this weekend happened.

So - from the start people can tell I can't talk so good. But, it seems that I'm good for a conversation [who would've thought that!?].

Last night [so, Friday night for you playing at home] I had a date. With Jesus. And 6 other amazing chicks. It was a completely encouraging!! It was for us single ladies who, quite frankly, can get a little stressed by life, feeling like we are being left behind, or, what's wrong with me because I'm still single - that kind of stuff.

So my fabulous friend, Sarah, invited us ladies to a date with Jesus night. Sarah looked like she was you idyllic 50's wife, and she was SUCH an amazing hostess! It was quite simply amazing. A great platform for what a date would be like [considering I've only really been on one official date and it was out, this was what I felt a date should be like].

Candles, rose petals on the ground, roses at the door greeting us, a fire crackling to stand next to while listening to the rain on the roof, mocktails in hand, fine linen and cutlery, the lulls of sweet music in the background, a gift on the table [it was a ring! Like, an engagement ring-type ring].. it was beautiful.

And I was encouraged to remember that I may be single on Earth for now, but I am part of the bride of Christ. I am wholly and dearly loved by my Father, my heavenly husband, who wants to give me the world! I felt so... blessed! I also felt like I talked WAY too much and by the time I got home I lost what voice I did have left... hahahha....

And then today came around.

Tonight I was participating in a youth-encouragement event to motivate and excite young people to be missionaries wherever they are, and my role for the night was the mingle beforehand and to make professional coffee's after during supper. 

To start off, I was ready early. THIS NEVER HAPPENS! I'm always late. Well, not by much but I usually don't plan my time very well at all. Today, I was prepared! After spending the day listening to the rain and feeling so mellow, I was prepared! Perhaps last night did more than encourage me! Perhaps - I felt relaxed!!

So I arrive, and I check out the machine to use, which was very small and different to what I was trained on, and it took me awhile to find where things where but, eventually I nutted it out!

You have to remember, I was trained on a ship on an industrial sized professional cafe' coffee making machine, and I was trained at a standard that was certified as basic understanding but trained in high-class coffee making, that I am a little fussy with how things are done or left. So when there was no cleaning chemicals, no brushes, no tamp [what to press the ground coffee with to make it flat before you put it in the machine to press water through to get the shot]... I felt frustrated and unsure that this match between me and the machine was going to come out nicely...

ESPECIALLY when i was shown how to use this machine and every technique was, if I had done it on the ship, I would've been given a right severe telling off... BUT... when I was doing it, amazingly, every rule I remembered came back to me and we...

connected. The machine and I, that is.

And when the orders started coming... then the line of people kept growing... when people were coming to say how good their drink was... [and one or two even snuck in second one!]... I was so... SOOOOOOO... blessed! And encouraged! And... over the moon!

And maybe if I pursue doing nursing [amongst the many things I'm pursuing right now] I think I should get back into coffee making too! I realised tonight how I love making coffee! Infact, when I come back from my next bout of travels for debreif and sort-of birthday pressie for myself in June, then I think I might just go apply to be a barista again!

GOLLY GOSH! I am so excited that I doubt I will sleep tonight and its already 1:30am!!!

And tomorrow... I get to do my talk about the ship at my church. FINALLY! I'm so excited!!!

Be utterly blessed right now in your life today! You are worthy of love and from a distance, I love YOU too! If you were closer - like Alex - then I love you here too... of course! xoxox

Female[itis], Anatomy & Male. I mean, Mail.

I have a problem. I like to refer to it as "female[itis]" - and not THAT kind. I'm referring to the kind that occurs when I get a cold. 

So - you know the Man-cold symptoms. Absolutely everything is the hardest thing to possibly do, see, move... whatever. They need to be loved and looked after and given a number one priority. You need to pop in and check that they know you have popped in on a very regular basis. It's a hard job being a man with a cold it seems, or maybe they are trying to say its just a hard job being a man...

When I get a cold, I do some pretty odd things. I mean, I actually prefer to be left alone. I go all "Walker, Texas Ranger" like. I battle it and sleep it off. The problem is the fact that when I get sick with a cold, I turn into this highly emotional female. It's like my inner guard has been let down and all that tough, macho-ness I try to pull in my normal days slips away and I become a feminine version of myself. I'm so not blokey, and I'm HEAPS less tomboy than I used to be [you would say now that I'm quite the girl and that's a compliment]... but when I get a cold, I am the female-connected version of me.

Yesterday I worked a day at my old employment and it was good physical work that I really enjoyed doing - mostly because I could see the results as I tossed out their rubbish. But I was so knackered. As I started getting this cold on Sunday, yesterday wasn't bad but last night it had fully kicked into gear.

So in my lethargic effort of life last night, I decided to watch the final 4 episodes of Grey's Anatomy for Season 5. The last episodes I have for the whole collection I've got. And I bawled like... like I was personally affected by the episodes themselves. Like I was personally involved. I wailed for what felt like ages after the episode finished, then would go wash my face, refill my drink and get back under the covers for another episode, as if I was paralyzed from doing anything else but watch another episode. I never do that. I mean, I cry because I can be a right old baby, but not like that. That was female[itis] me.

Another quirk in my female[itis] me is that I find that I'm drawn to the romantic movies, the ones that give you those butterflies and make you dream about the ridiculous love story you just might have, which might be like the one you just watched, but for whatever reason, we punish ourselves and watch these movies because, we love them. I wouldn't admit this in real life terms but, I secretly love them too. As much as I hate them for all the fake-ness and how it teases you and often are just filled with vomit-worthy script followed by vomit-worthy script, I still, hillariously, love them.

So today I watched a classic. A real good one. One that I would actually say in public that I've seen it, and one that I would watch even when well and completely sane. "You've Got Mail".

Maybe its the fact that its got Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks in it - who are both awesomely, adorably dorky characters. I love it. And I watched it today. It was so worth being sick for the pure enjoyment of watching it. I did many of those "wiping my consistently running nose while laughing at the same time so you make your tissue do a little dance in front of your face, which makes you laugh just that little bit more" moments. Its just... charming.

And it has amazing quotes...

“The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, de caf... low-fat, non-fat, etc. So for people who don't know what they are doing or who they are, can for a low $2.95 get not just a cup of coffee, but, an absolutely defining sense of self. Tall.... de caf... cappuccino.”
I loved that quote. I don't know why. Perhaps its the inner coffee addict in me. Perhaps its because no matter where I go, I have a signature coffee that I like to have from each place. Zabbacino's from Cibo's. White Marble Mocha from Hudson's. Irish Nut Creme from Gloria Jeans. White Chocolate Mocha Frappacino from Starbucks. And when I try and burst outside of my little bubble I've created in each store, I get overwhelmed with the choices and just pick a cappucino or a flat white.

Perhaps I like the quote because it's quite true in a coffee lover's world. If you don't know where you are going, doing, seeing, being... but you know that you can walk into a coffee bar and order a tall, skim caramel macchiato... then you are just living life really! I mean, what else do you need!? Okay, well the obvious for those new here is that you have to have a main order of God in your life. That's a given. But you can still have a side order of something else, something personal like... spontaneity, energy, laughter [that's like a second main meal for me], creativity, weirdness, joy, strength... and importantly, love. You need love in your life because it binds you together. It's what makes us live and breathe. Love is God is Love. Don't believe me? Try and take it away and see how far you get.

From over here on the sniffly side, I hope that you have tons and tons of God, love, laughter, and tall skim caramel macchiato's in your life. I hope that when you get the sniffles, that you can snuggle up in bed and watch some cheesy, girlie movie that you know is just not real but you also know makes you feel just that bit better, too. I hope that wherever you are, whatever you are doing, that you know that as a daughter of the Lord, you are wholly and deeply loved in every moment and in every aspect of your life and existence... x

"Hello! It's God calling..."

I was talking to my Dad the other day, something that I have the blessing of being able to do about once a month. Not because I don't want to talk to him more than that, we just don't often have enough to say if its a weekly phone call. After the greetings, I say "How's work?", he says "Its okay, you know the usual stuff". He says "What are you keeping yourself in mischief with?" I say "I've been doing a bit of this and that". The weather. A joke about something or someone we know. The latest goss on people we know. Half an hour of saying goodbye [that's Dad's gift really], "love you's" and off we go again. 

He's only just got a mobile [cell] phone, and when I say just I mean, nearly a year ago now. Since this move into 'yuppie ville' of technology I feel more connected with Dad because I can just send him a text to say hello or that I'm thinking of him. He's not so familiar with the concept of text messages, so to him, its like a phone call. If he gets a text, [since he doesn't know how to reply], he feels the need to phone.

I sent him a random 'I love you, Dad!' text to which later in that evening just as I'd started eating tea after being with some kids for the night, he called. I shot him down saying he didn't need to phone me if I send a message like that. He can just know I'm thinking of him.

It got me thinking. I think I've done that to God too.

As much as I would love to think I'm a great child of God, I also realise how I disobey and don't appreciate the love that God has for me. He sends me good things, and I accept them. I send him a prayer [like a text] and when He replies, I disregard it. When He calls, I tell Him he doesn't have to because I'm fine, I'm in the middle of something, or I'm [insert inconsiderate reply here]. Its like... I put conditions on the love God has. I put times on it. I like God's love attention when its through a blessing or when it suits me, otherwise, I seem to disregard it.

My Father, God, loves me unconditionally, and I know that. He wants to be apart of my everyday, and He just wants to show His love to me through various things. My Father, Clive, also loves me, but there could be points in life where the unconditional love could be harmed or broken, and the love hurt.

I love both of my Fathers. I love them more than I say. I want to blame the aspects of my childhood as the reason why I get a bit awkward with certain love attention, but I'm almost 25 and I think I cannot blame that anymore. If my Dad calls me, I should respond with loving kindness knowing that he is thinking of me. But I get annoyed because he's interrupting something I'm doing.

I hate that and I need to work on this more, both with my Heavenly and Earthly Fathers. I need to let my Dad love me the way he knows how to, and if its through a phone call, then that's what he knows. I need to let him into my life and not just when it suits me. But, bigger than that, I need to let God in my life everyday. I need to let him drive me. I need to let him steer the wheel and be my GPS in life. He know's where I'm going. 

If I decide to drive, then I also need to be willing to pull over on the side of my Life's road and answer His call when he needs to speak to me. And better than that, I need to put him on Speakerphone more and mute him less.

Funny thing is, being on the ship exposed me to many people who hugged everyone and loved personal and physical contact, something that was very foreign from me. Mum always says I hated being hugged when I was young, but I think there were bigger reasons for that. Feeling unaccepted was a big one. Feeling not a part of my split family sometimes, another big part of it. I didn't want fake love, and maybe I thought that's what I was getting. I know that at school, being the uncool kid, I would have friends only when it suited them. As soon as I did what they had intended me to do [like, their school work], or when I stood up to them,  I was once again uncool and they stopped liking me. Obviously, that was a HUGE part of my dilemma. School, aside from the work, kinda sucked for me.

But thankfully, my awkward years are far behind me. I might talk a little less now [than I did a year or so ago], but I'm still me, still quirky, still struggling with life and definately still learning. Ha!

Have a rip-snorta blessed day today!

Portrait of a ENFP...

Have you ever wandered what it would be like to read a story that describes, in strangely great depth, many of the qualities of you that you didn't think were qualities but more... unique facts about you? So strange that you feel like you possibly have been living in The Truman Show for your life till now... and right at this moment you suddenly realise that all along you have secretly been filmed and staged to do things. So strange, that you laugh outloud in a slightly awkward way because you realise that you actually DO the things you have been reading. So strange... that you feel partially proud and partially freaked out...?

Have you ever done a test... that the conclusion was, infact, a very great and pretty accurate description of yourself? Sure, not every point mentioned is like you, which is totally fine because this test isn't 100% accurate because there are some which are hard to pick between...

Have you ever been on the Personality website? Because if you haven't, I think you really should...

This test, isn't to prove how right or wrong you are. It isn't for you to show that you are allowed to have mood swings and get stroppy whenever you want because your personality profile said that it happens, so its okay now. It isn't to give you the answers to some of your problems. Its just... a profile that might help you understand the way you interact with others and the world. It's really... really interesting...

I, typically, am profiled as a ENFP. I did it today with one of my friends who, as it turns out, just so happens to be almost completely opposite to me. I guess when they say opposites attract, it really means more than romantic relationships, too.

So... I was reading my typical profile, and I kept bursting into fits of laughter. One particular quirk, oddly, is it said that my profile can typically enjoy reading classic romance fiction, like, Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. It just so happens that I started reading Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility just a couple of weeks ago. Freaky? I thought so too... more for the timing of reading that particular author and doing this test... and then it also says that a ENFP often doesn't finish a book... losing interest and finishing the book by only reading sections of interests... which is SO WEIRD because... that is something I thought I did due to being... well... me. Ha! I'm not alone after all!

Another part it mentions about me [well, my type] is that [ad-libbed] if we aren't stimulated in the tasks we do in life, if aren't feeling like we are being productive, if we are given strict schedules and mundane tasks, we will become unhappy and work less efficiently. SO... it means I cannot work in an office. I hate office work. And now I know this on a bigger scale apart from the fact that it just bores me, I know I should look at different jobs to that. Outdoor jobs. People jobs. Interactive and imaginative jobs. They are good ones for me...

My favourite statement out of it all?

But ENFPs are always consistent in their value systems, which they will impress on their children above all else, along with a basic joy of living.

That is SOOOO cool!

Best thing about this website, is that it helps you with relationships with people [with friends and, even better, with someone you might want to be more than friends with], jobs that are good for your personality type, and personal growth - basically - how to use this information to be a better you.

Its not the bible. And its not to tell you what to do... but, its bloomin' interesting!!! Enjoy!

Baby, Love

Someone I love a great deal is going to have her first baby soon...  I am SOOO excited. This is highly likely going to embarrass her that I'm writing this but, I don't care!!! If it was happening to anyone else I would probably write about it, too, but she is WORTH every bit of pain I'll get for talking about her so publicly [to the MILLIONS of unknown people who visit my blog... because that happens...{not}...]...

Alex is one of my closest, bestest, funniest, grooviest, honest and most adorable friends I've been SO blessed by God to have in my life. I believe we compliment each other in many ways. We can sing silly songs, do craft invitations, decorate houses but usually make each other laugh because we do spastic things like... blood-curdling screams in cars [only as long as you clench your butt cheeks at the same time] or we gang up and tease her hubby, Tim, because... we can, and because he's worth it...

I can talk to her about pretty much anything, and for some reason [perhaps hormone levels of soon-to-be-motherhood], I feel like I can REALLY talk to her about pretty much anything now since I've returned from my ship trip away. Not like I couldn't before, of course, but perhaps I also developed more confidence while I was away to talk about other things, too [like, soon-to-be-motherhood and all the perks and quirks haha]. And, to add a 'baby bonus' - she even let me feel her 3-weeks-to-go tummy, [that's right, I touched the baby bump!].

She is not the kind of gal that gets flustered or stressed very easily. She can get annoyed, but that's a whole different matter. She has a chilled-out kind of attitude that is like water on a ducks back - life, no matter what happens, just keeps on rolling. She is also such a supportive wife to her husby, too. This might sound kind of weird but - they really are people who I look at and admire. The biggest and best thing about Tim & Al is that they love God SO much! He's a big part of their lives, but not just a part of it - he LIVES in their lives. They love kids, reaching out to them and their families and to extend a helping hand to those in need.

I've known Tim & Alex for pretty much my whole Christian life. They are both my family and my friends. I can go to them to laugh our heads off or to have a deep conversation about, well, anything that may pop up in our lives. They can keep me accountable and they can kick my butt, but most awesome of all - they have let me be in their lives...

I don't think they are lucky to know me. I think I am blessed to know them.

By the way - Alex is due on May 18 but... there are a few people who have their thoughts on when the baby will pop out. I'm voting the 16th of May... we'll see how she goes... :)

Death Stars at the Prom

Last night I did a crazy awesome thing.

I went to a "Jedi Day" event at the Promethean. Now, let me explain this in a bit more detail.

For the Star Wars Groupies, I am not one of you. Sorry. Go for it if you are one who swings that way, but, I'll pass thanks. I just like the movies. For the rest of society, I'm still with you. But, don't think what I did was anyway geeky. It was - without a doubt - AWESOME!

The thing is, the band - Adam Page and the Death Stars - get together once a year [they are aiming for more appearances] to play classical movie songs and give it their own vibe, be it jazz or reggae etc, and dedicate it to an event. Like - the day that people devoted to the Star Wars movies call Jedi Day [well, apparently the official day is May 25, but May 4 is also celebrated]. Why also May 4? May the Fourth be with you. If you were a Jedi you would understand...

The other amazing thing is the talent of these guys. 5 of some seriously awesome musicians - who have barely rehearsed any of the music - that's how good they are - get together and jam - and you are invited.

The lead, Adam, is a FREAK musician. Actually they are ALL freak musicians. He has talent bursting out of his Chewbacca outfit at outrageous speeds. He goes from sax to banjo to ukelele [which he'd only been playing for 3 weeks - that's how annoying he is], busting a sweat, dancing a groove and looking right at home... to the other Sax, Princess Leia, who could play to extreme heights of awesomeness, duets with Chewbacca, solo's to make your toes curl - just magic... the guitarist, gentle Darth Vader, who rocked his solo set back to black, with such concentration and skill and an awesome hairstyle he really owned his spot on the stage... to the drummer, Yoda, who is the tallest midget I've ever seen, who whipped ass on the drums doing things that made me find hardly believeable, at paces that I've never seen and before last night would've considered impossible... to the bass player Starship Trooper who whipped out some seriously phat beats, while being one of the mellowest dudes chilling out the back of the stage... and then over to the pianist, Obi Wan, who, I swear played so fast and so well that his fingers literally blurred he was going at break neck speeds... I absolutely LOVED it! My leg never stopped tapping and my head never stopped bopping to the classical/jazz/reggae fest...

Could you imagine the Imperial March at regular, fast, superfast and reggae speeds? Exactly. It was a room full of talent watched by a room full of pretty cool people. It was an awesome night.

And as a taster, Adam is quite literally a one-man-band. Imagine him with an actual band. Go on and check it out here...

Life in [C]minor

Cminor. I claim that to be 'chilling out' for the context of the title. Of course, you know what I am like with anything title related. Usually, in a quirky-me-kind-of-way, my titles rarely make sense to the rest of the post I write.

Moving right along to something VERY important...

Have you EVER heard of an electric whipper-snipper... [FYI for those playing at home in other countries, this is a tool used as a grass cutter to cut short the growth on the edges of flower beds etc. Usually consists of a half circle shield with a piece of plastic string-stuff that goes around the propeller-like centre a million times a minute - the motion 'whips' the grass short].

So... anyone?

I felt like the biggest 'tool' today when I was using this electric whipper-snipper. I felt so utterly ridiculous chopping down grass with an extension cord following me around, which was equally as annoying as it was ridiculous. I was proud of myself for finding some plastic string stuff to put in as the 'blade', and equally proud of myself for fixing it before I could use it. But I still felt ridiculous. And annoyed. The owners have the garden shed locked with a different key to what I have - so i couldn't go and see if there was a filthy, dirty, covered-in-cobwebs, fuel guzzler for me to use and feel MIGHTY when using it. Nope. I had to use the electric one. What the hang!?

Well, I'm not sure when the yard here was last really hacked. Or raked. Or something. I got a nice gentle sweat up raking the 'lawn' area - which really has no lawn on it, just many weeds growing together to pretend to be grass. Also, there are more than required travelling plants around this house. You know, the ones that grow like vines and seem to just 'creep' everywhere? Well, theres a creeper rose bush, and about 7 creeper Geranium plants. They are just sprouting up everywhere. I hope the owners don't mind the trim up...

But it was SO nice to feel dirty again. Nails full of dirt and grass clippings. Pants completely covered in crass clippings. Dirt in places I don't recall being places that helped cut the grass or rake the 'lawn', yet, they still have enough dirt and grass clippings and gumnuts [ahm - yep!] to make me think that these places MUST have helped. Righty-oh.

So, today was my chilling out day. One of two days in the week where I don't have to leave the house to drive anywhere. I try and keep these days free if I can so that I can just... be. Watch some Grey's Anatomy. Do the Grocery Shopping for the week/fortnight [depending]. Do some washing. Do something creative. Do whatever my heart pleases me... which is one thing I do like about having no job! There really is alot of freedom to do - whatever!

PS - FYI - I could possibly be starting some volunteer work with a radio station. A RADIO STATION! That IS exciting! Keep checking back for updates on that! :)

PSS - in other news my mate is TWO weeks away from popping out her lil'un... TWO WEEKS!!! That is exciting. And just a little bit scary [i mean, the idea of pushing out a baby...that is]. Soon there will be a little person for me to spend too much time coo-ing over. And I will be about to make random annoucements of "look how big [baby] is!!!". That is exciting, too!

Are you sure its not frostbite...?

Well hey there avid readers [all... three of you?]!

I have been having many varieties of struggles recently - mostly due to the fact that the honeymoon period of being home has far from finished and now I'm running through phases of
"I'm lonely and I wish I had someone to talk to... [add person]... okay, now I have nothing to say and wish I was alone"
Ha. Bad. Or perhaps this one...
"I'm so very very very happy!!!!.. [insert a moment]... okay now I'm so sad/angry/want to kick a shed in/lost/unsure/etc"
I couldn't even say there were reasons the mood changed. The mood just changed. Oh, there are many other moments, let me tell you, but if I sit here and describe them all, well, it just might depress you instead! So - think of this as me giving you that release of NOT having to read it! Okay? Okay!

One particular thing I want to talk about is this:
Re-adjusting to cooler weather after living in the Tropics for [insert period of time here]...

I lived on a ship that sailed around the tropics for about 15 months. Prior to that, I had about 3 months of Summer back here in Adelaide, Australia. So - in all, about 18-ish months of good decent, "more sweat coming from your armpits than shirts that are dry" style weather.

Sure, in the tropics, it rains too. Alot. But its not the rain that when it starts you head to cover because getting wet means getting cold. No way. Far from it, infact. These rains were like having a luke-warm shower without having a choice and with all your clothes on. At first, its awkward. You don't know what to do. You are soaked through enough that you are sure even if your pants dry you will still look like you've peed yourself. Your shoes fill with enough rain that you squelch when you walk. If you opt for thongs, then your feet turn into a mudbath. When you walk out of the wet into the dry parts of malls or shops, you start dancing like a crazy ice skater because the shoes are so slippery on the ground and you have no traction. Your book that you brought for the bus ride is curling on the corners from the wet paper. You just cannot win. The locals, however, they are so used to the weather than being so wet is like another version of their outfits. Its really quite funny!

So my dilemma is that I feel exceptionally cold. So cold that I wonder if my bones will shake apart because I feel that cold. I put more layers on, another pair of socks, beanies, scarfes and a jacket and when I can hardly move I realise I have to pee. Its annoying!!!!! But its really cold! This evening is only 12*C. I don't live in a place that snows but I feel like if I look outside it should be snowing I feel so cold.

Have I become desensitised to cold weather while I was away in the tropics? Winter is my favourite season because of the layers of clothes. Perhaps my complaining really is in the fact that I just need to get more winter clothes. I'm so glad I can use this space to write things which in the end - I can resolve in my own way anyway. Ha...

The other particular thing I would like to talk about is this:
Hair today, gone tomorrow: Why having a good hairstyle is so important to us...

We all have hair, but why do we want to have 'perfect' hair. "Find the style that suits you", the magazines scream out to me. "Want a new YOU? Change your hair!"

I have been researching for a new hairstyle. My thoughts: mid-length, layered/graded, incorporates my fringe... face framing. I have rather curly hair, rather medium thickness and at the moment it feels rather long. Its to the middle of my back if I straighten it. Its only just past my shoulders if its left curly. But it feels like it has no life. I want something... new.

So - where does a person go to find something new? I look online first, Googling in the images for "short curly hairstyles 2010". I find straight hair, long hair, ultra short hair, and every other 'care-hair' comes out before some medium length hairstyles. Most of them, apart from a bare few, are infact, medium length curly hairstyles - but on women who have dead straight hair and their hairstylist for the day and curled and hairsprayed and "schooschzed" their hair until they get their medium length curly - perfect - hair. Its so not real.

The 'real' ones turned up being hippy-retro-emo-special hairstyles that only the darest of dare-devils would wear. But I'm talking about going to your neighbourhood hairdresser and getting my hair cut. I'm talking about an everyday style that doesn't require 3 hours prior to showing my face in public spent scrutinising over each strand till its 'perfect' I'm talking "wake up, shower, schooschzing for about 7.75minutes and then walking out of the bathroom. I'm talking 'normal people' styles. Where can we find our hairstyle-bible!?

Perhaps its in the magazine. So I buy one of those $4.99 magazines on hairstyles. I flick 3/4's of the way through before I see anything remotely resembling what I want. But - once again I'm showered in many styles - from the hairdressing salons of make-believe.

So - I'm going to take my thoughts and ask the hairdresser tomorrow, when I go in for my BIG CUT. Its the Girly day, when two of my closest friends and I go to have our hair done together and then we paint the town red with our fabulous new do's. It will be awesome. Whatever style comes through, it will be awesome...

So - from here I bid you... adieu...

Remembering the ANZAC's

Every year on April 25 two things happen all over Australia and New Zealand. As the light of day arrives, a Dawn Service is held at War Memorials to remember the moment of "stand-to" - when the soldiers were awoken from whatever slumber they could get into and make their stances ready, alert and to mann their weapons. It's in these quiet, peaceful moments of silence that veterans [soldiers who returned from the battlefield] and the family of those who were lost remember them...

Originally, only veterans were allowed to attend the dawn service, to commemorate the timing with the original landing on the shores of the Gallipoli peninsula, while family members attended the daytime ceremony to remember their fallen loved ones. The days have changed, and now we are all encouraged to partake in either or both services.

Why is this day special to Australian's? From the Australian War Memorial website, is the following...
When war broke out in 1914, Australia had been a federal commonwealth for only 13 years. The new national government was eager to establish its reputation among the nations of the world. In 1915 Australian and New Zealand soldiers formed part of the allied expedition that set out to capture the Gallipoli peninsula in order to open the Dardanelles to the allied navies. The ultimate objective was to capture Constantinople (now Istanbul in Turkey), the capital of the Ottoman Empire, an ally of Germany.

The Australian and New Zealand forces landed on Gallipoli on 25 April, meeting fierce resistance from the Ottoman Turkish defenders. What had been planned as a bold stroke to knock Turkey out of the war quickly became a stalemate, and the campaign dragged on for eight months. At the end of 1915 the allied forces were evacuated, after both sides had suffered heavy casualties and endured great hardships. Over 8,000 Australian soldiers had been killed. News of the landing on Gallipoli had made a profound impact on Australians at home, and 25 April soon became the day on which Australians remembered the sacrifice of those who had died in the war.

Although the Gallipoli campaign failed in its military objectives, the Australian and New Zealand actions during the campaign left us all a powerful legacy. The creation of what became known as the “ANZAC legend” became an important part of the identity of both nations, shaping the ways they viewed both their past and their future.
  • Australian War Memorial

  • For my family, we didn't lose anyone to either of the World Wars. My grandpa on my mothers side was in the Army but never saw a battle or went to the field. Both of my grandparents on my fathers side were in the Second world war. My Nanna as a field nurse and my grandpa as a pilot. Of their 4 sons that they had, only one ever saw a war - the eldest, Peter - when he served in the Vietnam war. He is a veteran now, and still struggles with the things he saw. Peter's brother, Neil, was in the Army for about 20 years, but never saw a battle. My father, Clive, and my other uncle, Kym, as far as I know, never joined the military. My brother, Troy, was a cadet for a long time but left early when he decided to attend University.

    I don't just love ANZAC day because it means something to my family. I love ANZAC day because it was like a right of passage for the Australian and New Zealand countries. We made our mark in the world for being withstanding, for the comraderie [bond] that the troops had to each other - to battle on, for the good of our country, knowing that to lose their life was in effort to help generations. Mates were lost. Family were lost. Foreigners lost their mates and family, too. We showed them that we can survive. Its also a day when we can reflect on the different meanings of war.

    So what will you be doing on ANZAC day, April 25th?

    Will you think of those who died... who didn't deserve to die?

    Will it make you think of Jesus - who also loves you - who also didn't deserve to die?

    Will you remember? Lest we forget...

    Happy [is that the right word?]... Blessed ANZAC Day.


    Speaking with my Dad last night brought up the discussion of my upcoming birthday. I don't even start thinking about it till the end of May, because it's not till mid June. But, Dad being Dad, he started thinking about it last birthday [or so it seems].

    Milestone year. 25. I don't even think that is old. Its not. Its so young! Really, these are the years people tell you the statement 'The world is your oyster! Go out and get it!'. Well, I've seen some of the world. I've seen some of that oyster many strive till that perfect time in their life when they can go out and see it. I've done that. I plan to do more of that too!

    But somehow 25 also comes with a question, from my perspective. "When!?". When will I meet my handsome Prince Charming who obviously has refused to stop and ask for directions - because men don't do that, as we're all aware. When will I get to marry my best friend and call him my Husband? When will I get to be pregnant and then to be the Mum taking her baby to play group. The world makes me ask "When!?". The perspective of the world makes me wonder why I'm still waiting. But I'm only 25! Why is this seeming to be a problem! If I was 35... 45... maybe then I should worry. But, worldly speaking, 25 makes me question things about life.

    If I look back and think that me at the age of 21, I know I was far too immature to get married. I was far too immature to even have a boyfriend. I had alot of growing up to do, and it was only 4 years ago. I feel like in those 4 years, that I have realised how a husband isn't necessary in life. He's a blessing. He's like a bonus feature following the Film of life. You don't need to be married to live or to enjoy life or to do what God wants you to do. But, we are born relational. We are born with the desire to be loved. And we desire to love others. So, I guess this is where we need to know we can stop worrying.

    My previous year has been somewhat of a roller coaster. A life that I never thought I would be blessed enough to live. I lived on a ship, that sailed around the world, bringing awesome people from all over the globe who are volunteering their time just to experience other cultures, other people, other lifestyles, while at the same time sharing hope to the nations. We were like a floating United Nations 'island'. We represented the world, and though we had some problems sometimes, we lived together well. Its just so sad to know that politics helps to make our world a messed up place. People with control issues help make the world a messed up place. People who refuse to love their neighbour make the world a messed up place. That, is messed up.

    So - 15ish months of my life was spent around Asia... before I was 25. Not many people get to experience that.

    Well... this has been an interesting reflection. Hope you find it... interesting, too! :)

    I say to you, "Climb that MOUNTAIN!

    In whatever way that I fail in my consistency of writing, I sometimes wonder if I try to make up for in in length and depth. I wonder... are the conversations that I speak in my head before I write with my fingers clearer to me and make sense to no one else. Am I really more like my mother than I would like to admit? Do I talk so much that other people feel exhausted? I know that I have known many people who have made me feel that way, and sadly, I really hope I am not one of those people for others.

    Rebellion. Its a word that emits a version of strength from it. Its a word that makes people in their comfort zones feel nauteous because in order to break out of their zone of comfort, they would need to be rebellious. Its a word that feels like it has power behind it. Its... a word. I feel like I'm in a rebellion. I feel like all I want to do is rebel against the old me. I don't want to be the old me. I want to be me now... me 2010... me today. I want to be the changed person I became when I experienced the great many things of the world that I saw and was challenged by while I was abroad for the 15-ish months I was away.

    I feel like I have SO much time to be me, that I want to be anything but me at the same time. I felt like nothing when I had come back. I came from this 'house' of 300+ housemates, from noise and bustle and sound and lacking in so much personal time and space... to a house with no noise except for when I create it or cause it, no one else except for the cat, no bustle except for my own messiness, TOO much personal time and TOO much space. I felt so lost and lonely. I feel outside of my area. I feel well out of my comfort zone.

    I feel like God has me in a hallway between 'there' and 'here' and there's no light in this hallway. In a sense, you are 'blind' in this hallway. The only thing you can do is to trust that God will guide you around the obstacles that you cannot see coming - but He can. Its like, a child outside of the family home. The child feels safer holding their Mum or Dad's hand. The child knows that the parents are in control and that they will help them along the way until they get back into the home where they know [most of the time] what is good and what is bad. I feel like I am just walking along holding God's hand. I feel like I'm not meant to know the next steps because He knows. Of course, I should be living this way normally anyway, but absurdly due to no employment and plenty of time on my hands to do - anything, nothing - I am much more aware of the situation now.

    God has a way of getting us through this 'hallway'. Sometimes its the choice to leave an employment or not. Do you leave after you have found a new job, because its easier and you still get paid. Do you leave before you get a new job knowing that its better this way and knowing that you will have no income to be supported by. How do we know when we should stop driving and let God drive instead? How do we know that we aren't already letting God drive? When did we suddenly start 'driving' our lives and - are we on the Godly Freeway of Life or are we driving on the backroads because we think we know what's best?

    Gosh. Too much time to think!

    I have come to believe that the ship stopped sailing for more than just the fact that its an old ship. I believe that we were a 'Missionary Bomb' - exploding into the world, sending people who are from all 'corners' of the earth out into all 'corners' of the earth. I feel like I am back here in Adelaide to be more than an unemployed bum. I feel like I'm meant to climb the mountain - literally. God has me on a 'hiking' addiction and all I want to do is 'conquer' the mountain. Alas - we don't have mountains only steep hills but - the point is the same. If i can conquer the steepest of slopes, and I know I can do it because God has givin me the strength. At the same time, God has me with so much spare time to look after those around me. Whether its a woman with a broken ankle or best friends who are about to have a baby, I seem to be already available to them for such a time as this.

    Well - I hope that for you - this was insightful. I hope that for you, this was an update worth waiting for. I hope that for you, God gives you the strength to conquer whatever mountain God has before you. Infact, I don't hope for it... I know he has given you the right strength for the right path up the right mountain.

    Life isn't meant to be an easy walk. Its meant to be uneven, with lots of twists and turns and many steep slopes to climb. God knows what you can handle. If you are facing a huge mountain, and you believe God has you there for such a time as this, then God will also get you through it. God is carrying you - you just have to believe that.