Before the Dawn [The Awakening]

I have never really felt the pull to leave the comfort of my life, the surroundings, my friends, the safety of understanding [most] people, the little things we take for granted everyday or even the bigger things we pray for a solution to swiftly come upon us. So I really never thought that I could - or would - venture abroad and do something mission based.

Armed with the most convenient of excuses, I defended any thought entering my head about any possibility of going into the mission field. "I'm still a young Christian". "I have yet to find my feet". "I believe I am already working where God has put me, so don't need to go". They might be mostly true, but they are excuses. Sure, I am a young Christian, but it probably will help me grow. Sure, I might not feel comfortable to do it, but if I feel there's a need, a void I could fill, then why not do it? Sure, God probably has put me where I am right at this moment to do His work, but, maybe I have also been waiting for such a time as this.

God's not going to just give me life on a silver platter and say... "Hey kid, come over here and pick out all the fun things you want to do in life, and then come over here and tell me when and where you want to do them"... but are we expecting Him to do that? I am pretty certain I was. I am pretty certain that I have been waiting too long for God to drop a big neon sign with an even bigger neon arrow that says "THIS WAY... NOW!". God also forgot to send me my to-do list which would really help with identifying the things I want to do. Not to mention a map for some direction. Gee God, what are you thinking?

I'm thinking that God is thinking "Make your own way there". But where is there? Is it near? Do I have to move overseas to find it? Do Arnott's have a never-ending supply of Tim Tams available there? Why do we always feel the need to know everything before we're satisfied that we're going in the right direction... when if we think about how long we've been thinking about that for, we might've missed the gravy boat. The opportunity. Why don't we just try a handle and open a door? The only way you'll know if its 'not meant to be' is to try it. You'll soon know if the door is closed. Or you might be part-way walking through the door when it starts closing - and then you freak out. I tell you that would be scary! You have committed all that time, energy and resources into making the walk through that door - when now its closing in your face. What do you do?

Its simple to say and yet hard to live out. Believe. Have faith. Trust that there's a Man of higher power who is guiding your way with an impressive Light! Give it all to Him!

In Psalm 25:5 it says "...Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long."

and Psalm 37:7 says "Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes."

and Psalm 40:1 says "I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry."

I find those words so encouraging, and I pray that you do too.

"So, what has this all got to do with anything" you ask. Well I'm glad you did! You see, this is all probably as new to me as it is to you. I really hope I am not displaying what might appear to be someone who has God in everything they do. Nope, not me. Did I mention I struggle earlier? Well I do. I dont make God a priority as much as I should. I dont hold back on being quick to anger, like I should. I dont love everyone, including their faults, like I should. I struggle to commit to prayer and study of the Bible on a regular basis. I dont give with my whole heart like I could. I get frustrated too easily and I doubt too often. I get tired doing something I know is for God.

But do you know what the best thing is? The best thing about all of my faults that I have, including the one's i've not even mentioned? The best thing about all of this is that God still loves me, no matter how many times I stumble and fall. No matter how many times I think i'm travelling down the wrong path, think the wrong thing, curse, get mad, get frustrated, rebel, think of only myself, but most importantly, when I dont make God my number 1.

You know, God is pretty fantastic. He does not keep a tally of the things we do wrong - how great is that! He surely would disprove of it though! And he loves us unconditionally. That means - no matter what! You could say or do or think anything and God will still love you. God IS good!

God has changed me so much from the young woman I was a year ago. He has opened my heart and my eyes and my possibilities. Right now I am in the process of joining one of the Operation Mobilisation Ships, the M.V. Doulos, on a program called STEP [Short Term Exposure Program] [hopefully as a coffee barister! BIG PRAYER!]. Its basically a way of introducing you to missions work - and at the same time - giving you opportunity to learn from being confined to small spaces with a variety of Jesus believers. Make sense? Okay, well put it this way; Everyone is unique, with their idea's and habits and personal quirks that make up who they are. And because of this uniqueness - someone is not going to necessarilly agree with yours. So, you dont tell them they are wrong, and your not wrong either. But you have to make allowances and not get toey at them, but love your Christian Brothers and Sisters for their differences. So if you've never been on a mission trip before - this experience might help out a bit!

Prayer Points: Please pray for...
- an awakening of God within me
- a sense of peace and understanding that this path i'm heading down is right - even if only for now.
- a joy that this adventure will bring me into a closer relationship with God
- a hunger to read His Word and to have a better prayer life with Him.

Be Blessed!



PrincessHeart said...

Finding the difference between waiting for easy, convenient direction and trusting higher powers for the correct guidance can be.. difficult.
For me anyway. XD
All to do with seeing the oppurtunities that are there.

Best of luck with the missions program!

PrincessHeart said...

was just checking random Australian people on the blogger site.
I'm in Melbourne.