Having faith to trust and believe...

I have a hard time dealing with things.

I have nothing in my control and that is something I don't deal with easily... I mean, I do... gosh... its hard to explain. What I mean is it's not easy to just accept things will happen when you need them/want them/require their assistance to turn up/etc. Its really not. Its not easy to feel like you've been changed, grown, pulled down a new direction - a direction that you thought was not where you would end up going - and despite all odds, still have faith to believe that it will happen. Faith to be patient that perhaps if it doesn't happen now that it might be soon, or later, or not at all, but still maintaining that faith.

It's just so hard! SO hard!!!

But it is VERY exciting! What is going to happen? Where will this take me? How will I be grown through this? Will my family stay excited about it when I've been gone for a while?